The newest addition to our family:  Mollie

 

Where Andy is Not

I wake up in the morning and look beside my bed where Andy is not.

I come out of the bathroom and look where Andy is not.

I go on my walk without a leash in one hand where Andy is not.

I eat breakfast and look at the AC vent where Andy usually curls up behind the table, but Andy is not.

I watch our Netflix movie and look beside my chair where Andy is not.

I cook unobstructed from a little mouth scavenging for dropped morsels because Andy is not.

I come from my shower expecting to see Andy waiting by the closed door, but Andy is not.

Andy has been by my side for 8 years. 

How will I cope with his “notness?”

I know that time is a great healer, but O Lord, I think my heart will burst.

It has been eleven days since Andy died.  Time is slowly healing our broken hearts, but they are by no means healed.  A memory will crop up and tears will fall.  There is a big empty place in our hearts.

Roy is very confused and still wondering where his brother/friend/soulmate has gone.  Since Andy was the dominant of the two, Roy still waits for Andy to go out of the door first.  He looks back to see where he is.  When we go for our walks, he looks back and is not sure where his place is since he used to always walk with Andy on the left, then Mom, then Roy, and then Dad.  He is still not his cheerful little self.  He refuses to let us out of his sight.  When we are not in the same room, he goes back and forth between us.

Roy seems depressed and mopes about.  He is just not his cheerful little self anymore.

When we came home with Andy's body, I placed him on the floor for Roy to see.  Roy gave him a good smell, then went on out the door searching for his Dad who was outside digging the grave.  After we buried Andy, I took Roy out to the grave site hoping he would know where Andy was.  He refused to approach the covered grave.  I guess his healing will take time too.

Death is hard whether it is for we humans or our four-legged children.

Andy Courie

August 31, 2005 - August 2, 2013

R.I.P.